What Does Success Look Like for You?
All new clients wonder: Will this work for me?
Success is one of those words that means something different to everyone. For some, it might be about achieving a specific goal. For others, it’s more about feeling a certain way—fulfilled, connected, or at peace. So, when someone asks me what success means in my work with clients, my answer is often, “It depends.”
Every person’s journey toward success is unique because the way we define it for ourselves varies so much. But what I’ve noticed is a common thread among many people I work with: they want to gain better clarity about their patterns and how those patterns developed.
Why Patterns Matter
Think about the moments in your life that feel … stuck. Maybe it’s a recurring argument with a partner, an overwhelming sense of shame about something that happened years ago, or confusion about why certain triggers send you spiraling. These aren’t just random experiences—they’re patterns, often rooted in your past, shaped by relationships, experiences, and even your nervous system.
Understanding these patterns isn’t about blaming yourself or others. It’s about seeing clearly for the first time why you react, feel, or think the way you do. And with that clarity comes something powerful: relief. Relief from pain caused by confusion, shame, and the weight of things that don’t feel in your control.
The Role of Our Work Together
What we do in-session is essential. We create a safe space to uncover those patterns, understand their roots, and reframe them in a way that feels manageable and meaningful. But here’s the truth: the real magic happens in-between sessions. That’s when the insights you’ve gained meet the reality of your daily life.
It’s in those moments when you’re trying a new way of responding to your partner, practicing a mindfulness technique during a stressful situation, or pausing to reflect instead of reacting, that change begins to take root. This is where you start to feel what success means for you—not just in theory but in practice.
Taking What You’ve Learned Into Daily Life
To support this process, I sometimes provide what I call ‘homework.’ Don’t worry, it’s not like school! These are things to try or resources to explore between sessions. Maybe it’s a breathing technique, a journaling prompt, or a book that aligns with what we’re uncovering together. The idea is to give you tools that meet you where you are and help you take small, actionable steps toward the kind of life you want to create.
Your Definition of Success
Ultimately, success in our work together isn’t about me telling you what it should look like. It’s about you discovering it for yourself. For some, it might be about feeling more present and less reactive in their relationships. For others, it could mean reclaiming pleasure and joy in areas where they’ve felt disconnected.
Whatever success means for you, my role is to walk alongside you as you uncover what feels right for you. Together, we can explore the patterns that hold you back, the clarity that sets you free, and the small shifts that lead to meaningful, lasting change. And who knows? Along the way, you might find that success isn’t a destination but a series of choices that make life feel more like your own.
I’m a Sex Counselor and Yoga Teacher. I work with individuals, couples, non-monogamous relationships, and groups in topics related to sexuality, emotional regulation, communication dynamics, and changing behaviors.
