Boys Need Better Role Models for Mental Health
Breaking the Cycle: Why Boys Need Better Role Models for Mental Health
For generations, boys have been told to "man up," "tough it out," and "be strong." But what does that really mean? Strength isn’t about suppressing emotions—it’s about knowing how to handle them. If a boy breaks his arm, no one tells him to walk it off. He gets medical attention, a cast, and time to heal. So why do we treat mental health any differently?
The Stigma Around Boys' Emotions
From a young age, many boys are taught to hide their feelings. Unlike girls, who are often encouraged to express emotions, boys are expected to stay strong and unaffected. This emotional suppression can lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. It’s not a personality trait—it’s conditioning.
Generations of men have grown up believing that showing vulnerability makes them weak. Gen X men, raised by Baby Boomers, were often given role models like John Wayne—stoic, silent, and emotionally distant. While resilience is important, true strength comes from facing emotions, not ignoring them.
The Cost of Ignoring Mental Health
When boys aren’t given the tools to process emotions, they may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Studies show that men are less likely to seek therapy or talk about mental health struggles, leading to higher rates of substance abuse and even suicide. The message has been clear for too long: emotions are a weakness. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Why We Need Better Role Models
If we want to raise emotionally healthy men, we need to show them how. That starts with adults—fathers, uncles, teachers, and mentors—modeling emotional intelligence.
Encourage Open Conversations: Let boys know it’s okay to feel sad, anxious, or frustrated. Teach them that emotions don’t make them less of a man.
Normalize Therapy and Support: Seeking help should be as normal as going to the doctor for a physical injury.
Challenge Old Beliefs: The idea that "real men don’t cry" is outdated. Strength is being able to process and express emotions in a healthy way.
Lead by Example: If boys see the men in their lives acknowledging emotions and dealing with challenges constructively, they’ll learn to do the same.
Breaking the Cycle for the Next Generation
We can’t expect boys to grow into emotionally healthy men if we don’t give them the tools. Teaching emotional intelligence doesn’t make them weak—it makes them stronger, more resilient, and better equipped to handle life.
It’s time to change the conversation. Boys don’t just need better role models—they need the adults in their lives to step up and be those role models.
Let’s make emotional health a normal part of raising boys—because ignoring emotions doesn’t make them disappear, it just makes them harder to deal with later.
I’m a Sex Counselor and Yoga Teacher. I work with individuals, couples, non-monogamous relationships, and groups in topics related to sexuality, emotional regulation, communication dynamics, and changing behaviors.
