50 Sex Myths Debunked: What You’ve Heard Might Be Wrong

When it comes to sex, most of us grew up swimming in half-truths, whispered rumors, and straight-up misinformation. From locker room gossip to awkward school “sex ed,” we’ve been told stories that stick in our minds—often shaping how we feel about our own desire, pleasure, and relationships.

Sex myths create shame, pressure, and unnecessary anxiety. They make people think they’re broken if they don’t fit the script. They fuel comparison, silence real questions, and keep us from the kind of pleasure that’s actually possible.

50 of the Most Common Sex Myths

1. Myth: Sex drive naturally declines with age.
   Truth: Pleasure evolves; it doesn’t disappear. Many people actually report deeper, more satisfying sex as they age, because they know themselves better and feel freer from social pressures.

2. Myth: Men want sex more than women.
   Truth: Desire is individual, not gendered. Cultural scripts tell us men should always want more, but women’s desire is often overlooked, under-researched, or silenced.

3. Myth: Erections equal arousal.
   Truth: Bodies respond automatically, but that doesn’t always mean someone wants sex. Arousal is complex and involves mind, body, and context—not just mechanics.

4. Myth: Women don’t enjoy casual sex.
   Truth: Plenty do. The myth exists because of double standards and shame, not because women’s bodies or minds are wired differently.

5. Myth: Bigger penis = better sex.
   Truth: Pleasure depends far more on creativity, rhythm, connection, and attunement than size. The obsession with size comes from cultural myths, not biology.

6. Myth: Only penetrative sex counts as “real sex.”
   Truth: Sex is anything erotic, intimate, and consensual. Oral sex, mutual masturbation, toys, and sensual touch all count—and for many, they’re more pleasurable than penetration.

7. Myth: If you don’t orgasm, sex was a failure.
   Truth: Orgasm is just one part of pleasure, not the end goal. Chasing it as a “finish line” creates pressure instead of connection.

8. Myth: Once desire fades, the relationship is doomed.
   Truth: Desire is cultivated, not constant. Couples who tend to eroticism as a practice can sustain it for decades.

9. Myth: Men are always ready for sex.
   Truth: Men experience stress, low desire, and disinterest too. Assuming otherwise harms men by ignoring their emotional and physical realities.

10. Myth: Only young people have good sex.
    Truth: Many people report better sex with age. Experience, confidence, and self-knowledge make pleasure richer, not less.

11. Myth: Foreplay is optional.
    Truth: For most people, arousal builds gradually. Skipping this step often leads to discomfort or lack of enjoyment.

12. Myth: Sex should be spontaneous to be exciting.
    Truth: Planned sex can be just as hot—or hotter. Anticipation and intentionality often build more desire than waiting for a “magic moment.”

13. Myth: LGBTQ+ sex is all the same.
    Truth: There is no one way to have queer sex. LGBTQ+ people engage in a huge variety of practices, just like straight people.

14. Myth: Sex toys mean you’re “not enough.”
    Truth: Toys are tools, not replacements. They expand possibilities and enhance pleasure for everyone involved.

15. Myth: Porn = sex education.
    Truth: Porn is entertainment, not a guide. It shows performance, not the realities of communication, consent, or pleasure.

16. Myth: Lubrication = arousal.
    Truth: Natural wetness and arousal don’t always line up. Stress, hormones, or medications affect lubrication—lube is just a smart accessory.

17. Myth: If you love each other, sex should be easy.
    Truth: Love doesn’t equal effortless intimacy. Good sex takes communication, curiosity, and sometimes unlearning bad habits.

18. Myth: Kinks mean you’re broken.
    Truth: Kinks are a normal variation of desire. With consent, they’re a healthy way to explore power, sensation, and play.

19. Myth: Fantasizing is cheating.
    Truth: Fantasy is part of a healthy erotic life. Most people imagine things they don’t want in real life—it’s exploration, not betrayal.

20. Myth: More sex = better relationship.
    Truth: Quality matters more than frequency. Connection, satisfaction, and freedom to express desire mean more than numbers.

21. Myth: Good lovers just “know what to do.”
    Truth: No one is a mind reader. Great sex comes from asking, listening, and experimenting.

22. Myth: You should orgasm at the same time.
    Truth: That’s Hollywood, not real life. Real intimacy isn’t about synchrony, it’s about shared enjoyment.

23. Myth: Only men watch porn.
    Truth: People of all genders do. Women, nonbinary folks, and queer communities engage with porn too—it’s not a male-only activity.

24. Myth: Virginity is real.
    Truth: “Virginity” is a cultural concept, not a biological one. There is no medical marker or single “first time.”

25. Myth: Vaginas get loose from too much sex.
    Truth: Vaginas are muscular and elastic, designed to stretch and return. They don’t get “worn out.”

26. Myth: Only young bodies are sexy.
    Truth: Sexy is about confidence, presence, and connection—not age. Every stage of life holds erotic potential.

27. Myth: Period sex is dirty.
    Truth: It’s safe, natural, and often pleasurable. For some, it even reduces cramps and boosts intimacy.

28. Myth: Premature ejaculation is just about control.
    Truth: It involves a mix of physiology, sensitivity, and psychology. It’s not simply “mind over matter.”

29. Myth: People with disabilities can’t have fulfilling sex lives.
    Truth: Pleasure is adaptable. Many disabled people have rich, creative, deeply satisfying sex lives.

30. Myth: You can tell someone’s sexuality by how they look.
    Truth: Sexuality isn’t visible. It’s internal, personal, and often fluid.

31. Myth: If you don’t crave sex, something’s wrong.
    Truth: Desire levels vary from person to person and across time. Low or fluctuating desire is not inherently a problem.

32. Myth: Marriage kills sex.
    Truth: Neglect kills sex. With attention and effort, marriages can thrive erotically.

33. Myth: Anal sex is only for gay men.
    Truth: People of all genders and orientations enjoy anal play. Pleasure doesn’t belong to any one group.

34. Myth: Morning-after sex is gross.
    Truth: Morning sex can be sweet, playful, and deeply connected. Messy doesn’t mean bad.

35. Myth: Talking about sex ruins the mood.
    Truth: Talking usually makes sex hotter and safer. Communication creates trust, which fuels desire.

36. Myth: Good sex = long sex.
    Truth: Quickies can be deeply satisfying. It’s about intention, not duration.

37. Myth: You should always be in the mood.
    Truth: Responsive desire is common—arousal often comes after you start. There’s nothing wrong with needing a warm-up.

38. Myth: Viagra fixes everything.
    Truth: It can support erections, but it doesn’t solve issues with intimacy, desire, or connection.

39. Myth: Pregnancy isn’t safe for sex.
    Truth: In most pregnancies, sex is safe and even beneficial. Always check with a doctor if complications exist.

40. Myth: Consent is only about saying yes or no.
    Truth: Consent is ongoing, nuanced, and requires active communication. It’s about enthusiasm, not obligation.

41. Myth: If you fantasize about something, you want it in real life.
    Truth: Fantasy is imagination, not a to-do list. Many fantasies are never meant to leave the mind.

42. Myth: Straight sex is just PIV.
    Truth: Heterosexual couples enjoy oral, toys, anal play, and more. Sex is bigger than one script.

43. Myth: More orgasms = better sex.
    Truth: Satisfaction isn’t measured in numbers. A single connected orgasm (or none at all) can be just as fulfilling.

44. Myth: Sex ends after orgasm.
    Truth: Pleasure doesn’t have to stop there. Cuddling, kissing, or a second round can extend the connection.

45. Myth: BDSM is abuse.
    Truth: With consent, it’s about trust, creativity, and play. Far from abuse, it’s built on communication and boundaries.

46. Myth: Hormones are destiny.
    Truth: Hormones influence desire, but context, meaning, and relationship dynamics matter just as much.

47. Myth: Asexuality is just a phase.
    Truth: Asexuality is a valid orientation. For many, it’s a lifelong identity.

48. Myth: Relationship happiness = sex happiness.
    Truth: They influence each other, but they’re not identical. You can have a strong relationship and still need to work on your sex life.

49. Myth: You’re too old to explore something new.
    Truth: Erotic growth is lifelong. Curiosity doesn’t retire.

50. Myth: There’s one “right” way to have sex.
    Truth: There are as many ways as there are people. Your definition matters more than anyone else’s.

The more myths we bust, the more space we create for curiosity, authenticity, and pleasure. You don’t have to fit anyone else’s script—your erotic life is yours to shape. Which of these myths have you heard the most? Let us know in the comments—I’d love to know!

Thaina Cordero, PhD
Hi, there! I’m a Clinical Sexologist and work with clients who want to cultivate greater ease and pleasure in their lives.