ADHD, Relationships, and Your Sex Life
People with ADHD often score higher in sexual eagerness—especially women—with increased desire, more frequent porn use and masturbation, stronger interest in kink, greater openness to nonmonogamy, and higher rates of infidelity.
At the same time, ADHD symptoms like time blindness, emotional reactivity, inconsistency, and impulsivity can intensify everyday relationship struggles—things like miscommunication, mismatched desire, and uneven physical or mental labor. Over time, these patterns can cause more fights and drain your sexual energy.
ADHD After Dark
ADHD doesn’t clock out at bedtime. Zoning out during sex, trouble initiating or following through, mismatched pacing, emotional shutdowns, and spirals of shame or rejection sensitivity can all make intimacy feel more complicated.
The good news? When partners feel supported and see real effort, research shows:
More comfort making sexual requests
Greater openness to fulfilling their partner’s desires
More willingness to share fantasies
And a 67% increase in sex (an average of 92 vs. 55 times per year)
Getting Support That Works With Your Brain
As a somatic sex counselor and relationship specialist, I help folks slow down, notice patterns without judgment, and make meaningful change.
That looks like:
Building awareness of how ADHD shows up—sexually, emotionally, and relationally
Creating rituals that work with your neurotype, not against it
Regulating your nervous system to reduce shame, build trust, and improve communication
Developing scripts for talking about sex, desire, and needs—even when it's awkward
Using body-based and mindfulness tools to bring more ease and pleasure
With the right tools and support, you can stop repeating the same patterns and start feeling more connected, understood, and sexually satisfied. I’d love to be part of your team!
