Welcome to Perimenopause: Your Hormones Are Screwing You Over
If you’ve been feeling like your body is betraying you, you’re not imagining it. Welcome to perimenopause—the chaotic, unpredictable prelude to menopause where your hormones are running the show. One day, you’re fine. The next? Mood swings, night sweats, brain fog, and a libido that’s either MIA or all over the place. Sound familiar?
The good news: You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. Your body is going through a massive hormonal transition, and while it can feel like a rollercoaster, understanding what’s happening can help you manage the ride.
What Is Perimenopause?
Perimenopause is the phase leading up to menopause, typically starting in your 30s or 40s. It can last anywhere from a few years to over a decade. During this time, estrogen and progesterone levels fluctuate wildly, leading to a cascade of physical, emotional, and cognitive changes.
Common Symptoms of Perimenopause (a.k.a. The Hormonal Chaos List)
Mood swings & irritability – You’re laughing one minute, crying the next, and everything feels extra.
Hot flashes & night sweats – One moment, you’re freezing; the next, you’re drenched in sweat.
Brain fog & forgetfulness – Losing your train of thought mid-sentence? Welcome to the club.
Sleep disruptions – Either you can’t fall asleep, or you wake up at 3 AM for no reason.
Low (or unpredictable) libido – Your sex drive might be non-existent or suddenly off the charts.
Weight changes – Even if nothing else has changed, your body might start storing fat differently.
Vaginal dryness & discomfort – Estrogen dips can cause changes in vaginal tissue, leading to discomfort during sex.
How Perimenopause Affects Your Sex Life & Relationships
Hormonal shifts don’t just affect your body—they impact how you connect with yourself and your partner. If you’ve been feeling less desire, struggling with arousal, or avoiding intimacy because of discomfort, it’s not just in your head.
Stress, sleep deprivation, and body changes can also play a huge role in how you experience pleasure and connection. Communication, self-compassion, and exploring new ways to connect (both physically and emotionally) can make all the difference.
What You Can Do About It
1. Support Your Hormones Naturally
Eat hormone-friendly foods – Prioritize protein, healthy fats, and fiber to stabilize blood sugar and support estrogen balance.
Manage stress – Chronic stress worsens hormonal imbalances. Try mindfulness, yoga, or breathwork to regulate your nervous system.
Prioritize sleep – Create a bedtime routine, limit screens before bed, and try magnesium or adaptogens if sleep is a struggle.
2. Address Vaginal & Sexual Health
Use lube – A good quality, hormone-friendly lubricant can make all the difference.
Pelvic floor care – Keeping pelvic muscles balanced (not just strong, but also flexible and responsive) supports blood flow, sensation, and overall function. Consider working with a pelvic health specialist if needed.
Redefine intimacy – Pleasure isn’t just about penetration—exploring different kinds of touch and connection can be game-changing.
3. Seek Medical & Holistic Support
Hormone testing – Understanding your levels can guide personalized treatment options.
Consider supplements – Certain vitamins and herbs (like maca root or evening primrose oil) may help balance hormones.
Talk to a professional – Whether it’s a doctor, sex counselor, or holistic practitioner, support is available.
Perimenopause is a transition. While your hormones may be making things difficult right now, this phase doesn’t have to feel like a losing battle. By understanding what’s happening in your body and making small, intentional changes, you can navigate perimenopause with more ease, confidence, and connection. It’s a period to rediscover yourself.
I’m a Sex Counselor and Yoga Teacher. I work with individuals, couples, non-monogamous relationships, and groups in topics related to sexuality, emotional regulation, communication dynamics, and changing behaviors.
